Sunday, July 17, 2005

grin and bear it

This is what happens after I get a tan. Despite the sunscreen + after sun emulsion. I guess I wasn't religious enough about it. I don't wanna look in the mirror. :/

I spent tonight cleaning out my room, and all that purging has made me feel so much better. Well, half the mess is gone. And I managed to categorise everything into neat piles. Another sense of satisfaction, or a neat freak's cheap thrill. Things I would like to forget/don't matter to me anymore, things I want to pass on, and things for keeps. It's always lovely stumbling onto something long forgotten, re-reading past letters, or a postcard in this case. I have tucked it away safely in my little treasure box.

Loved the weather today. It's so peaceful tonight, because my brother isn't around playing computer games/watching tv outside. Dinner included lovelies like teriyaki chicken and miso soup, the latter being terribly easy to make. I fixed my own lunch today, turning instant noodles into some big meal. I ended up not being able to finish all the noodles because I threw in so many ingredients, like pork, white button mushrooms, shrimp, meatballs and an egg. Also because it was piping hot and I had to run off for tuition. I love cooking, I have amassed a substantial collection of recipes but haven't had much time to experiment. I want to make pancakes and cookies, sweet as opposed to savoury, but only because I've already had my dinner.

I've got to kick my nocturnal habit, I don't like waking up too early in the morning but I don't like waking up to find half the morning gone either. Thing is I seem to be lucid mostly at night and I just wanna keep on going. It is doing horrible things to my eyes and energy level.

Anyone whose goal is 'something higher' must expect someday to suffer vertigo. What is vertigo? Fear of falling? No, Vertigo is something other than fear of falling. It is the voice of the emptiness below us which tempts and lures us, it is the desire to fall, against which, terrified, we defend ourselves.-Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being

rachel at 12:21 AM

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