Thursday, September 08, 2005

rachel unravelling revamps

I wanted to blog the past few days, given all the drama that has been happening, but in the grand scheme of things it sounds trivial and it all turned out to be fleeting. I hate emotional rollercoaster rides and trying to maintain a cheerful demeanour and not let the messy slush that is my emotions show up on the exterior. So far, so good. I refuse to let myself get trapped in all this shit and be miserable about it. I hate that everytime something screws up and I get really confused I keep on running back to the parentals for help. Shouldn't I be really independent now? I hate that I've become blur and ditzy this year, without the discipline of school to keep me focused. And most of all, I hate how I can be so easily swayed, when I thought I was so resolute. That I wouldn't let you pull me down.

I'm going to revamp this place.

rachel at 5:58 PM

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