Monday, October 10, 2005

the neverness of nearness

Only Monday and I'm already pooped out. This is so bad for my to-do list. The weekend was sort of great, though. There was shopping with Fly on Saturday but unfortunately there was nothing worth buying, and yesterday I went for the Journey of Faith exhibition [the one with relics from the Vatican] and more shopping with the parentals. I managed to catch up on The OC too, and weirdly enough I managed to finish my 102 paper! C:

I know what I want, and I know what I have to do. Letting go is the hardest part. It's not because its good for me, it is, but because it's time to stop dwelling on what I can't have, stop being trapped in this cycle, stop having false hopes and fluffy dreams. I have so much more, why settle for anything less? The answer to this, I know not, I don't even know what I'm gonna do. Each time I thought this was done and over with, something else had to happen. This time round, I need some major perception changing. Well, just as long as this isn't another half-baked effort.

"[And] then I felt sad because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can't ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older as you see the people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it's already happened."
Life After God, Douglas Copland

Hrmpph, how to work like that, and it's not even a legitimate excuse not to.

rachel at 11:20 PM

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