Tuesday, April 11, 2006
long lonely nights, or 16 hour flights?i think i won't go - the timing perpetually seems to be wrong. i feel this sense of urgency to do as much as i can, experience as much as possible every chance i get so that i'd make the best out of everything i have but right now it all boils down to timing. it really kills me to wait but maybe, it'd be more worth it.
i woke up this morning to a cold and rainy morning and a bad cough, hoping for someone to cosy up too. that's when i got hit by a pang of loneliness. it's the same kind of solicitude that gabriel conroy feels in the dead by james joyce. as the snow slowly blankets the country he feels chilled to the bone and in the darkness, feels his soul slowly slipping away. one by one they were all becoming shades. better pass boldly into that other world, in the full glory of some passion, than fade and wither dismally with age. i love the prose in that short story especially right at the end. anyway, i digress.
just got home from a nice steamboat dinner with the whole family. making ice kachang is good fun too. i should try making it penang style next time - huge generous portions with ice-cream and peanuts sprinkled over, with extra servings of everything. i had a cuppa coffee so that should keep me well awake into the night. still lots to cover for thursday's papers and i'm swarmed by copious amounts of paper and things i do not understand - but, better late than never, i'm alot more focused now.
rachel at 11:10 PM